Cake for breakfast

This has been a week of learning for me. Sometimes, when I think I have it all together, I really don't. This was one of those weeks for me. With my husband being in the military, and us moving so often, the four younger girls have not gotten large birthday parties...ever. We always have wonderful family parties with just us. (With five kids, it is a full house anyway.) Our family tradition started on accident, really. We had moved to a new state and did not know anyone when my son's 5th birthday came around. To try and make it as special as possible, the night before his birthday, I decorated the dining room with a birthday table cloth, plates, cups, and streamers. When he woke up the morning of his birthday, it was a big surprise. I have never been good at waiting for surprises and decided that morning to not wait till after lunch, or even after breakfast, for that matter, but instead to jump right into the party the very moment he woke up. So, sleepy-eyed, but excited, we went to the table and proceeded to have cake and ice cream for breakfast followed by opening the present. We moved three more times over the next five years and continued the tradition with the girls as their birthdays arrived. All the while, I had it in my head that they were missing something crucial to their childhood. I felt like a big birthday party was something they would always miss, if I couldn't "deliver" it. So, this year has taken Rick to Iraq and the kids and me to the family "hometown." I decided right away to plan a super three-way child birthday party they would never forget. I have rented an inflatable slide-pool that stands 12 feet tall and is guaranteed to wow any child, especially for a birthday party. I have told the kids they may invite everyone they know. I have even tried to think of the best parties we have ever attended and pull the best from them all. This party is to be the end-all be-all of parties for my girls who have never in their 7, 5 and 3 years of life experienced such a thing. Of course, with such an extravagant plan, and three birthday girls in one party, it has to fall in between some actual birthdays. The party is on May 27th, after Emi's birthday, but before Delaney's on June 9th. Wednesday the 17th was my five year old, Emi's birthday. We have all been talking, planning, and organizing for the grand party, so it is not a surprise. But when she woke up on Wednesday morning, I thought I would die. She rushed into my room and very excitedly asked, "Mama, should I wait up here, is everything set up yet?" Nothing was waiting for her in the dining room. No party table cloth, no special plates, no favors, no presents and no cake. Nothing. The big party is not for another week and a half, and I am putting my heart and soul into its preparation. The "since there is nothing better" family party was not even a consideration in my mind. I tried to tell her gently that there was nothing downstairs waiting for her. No worries, she said, "We can still have cake." There is no cake either, I told her. I tried to make the day special for her, but despite my best efforts, something didn't seem quite right for her all day. She didn't sulk, but was clearly depressed. I worried about it all day, but didn't know what to do. Around 930 that night, Rick called from Iraq and I told him the entire story. He was devastated for her and wanted me to try to make it up to her. How, I didn't know. At 10 o'clock on Wednesday night, I decided what to do. I called my sister Shannon and laid it all out for her. It was a risk that she would laugh and tell me to go to sleep and think about it tomorrow, but she didn't. She said, "I'll be there in 10 minutes." And she was. At 1030 at night I went to the old faithful Wal-Mart and shopped for an entire family birthday party complete with table cloth, plates, cups, stickers, a happy birthday banner, a present, and the all-important cake. I was up till almost midnight getting it all set up for her. Now I was stuck with how to explain that I had really messed up her birthday and needed to make it up to her. Sometimes, I think, actions can be better explanations for a five year old than some long story. So I went into her room Thursday morning and as she woke I sat on her bed. Today, I told her, is your family birthday party. That was it. That was all she needed. She didn't ask, why now? Not, why not yesterday? Just joy. Excitement. Sparkle. So, the six of us headed downstairs for cake and ice cream for breakfast on purple Tinkerbell plates and cups. It was one of the best days she has had since her daddy went off to war. She truly enjoyed her party. So what have I learned from this? What I thought was the "since there is nothing better" family party was actually a tradition that had become ours. The kids look forward to cake and ice cream with just us on the morning of their birthdays. It is who we are. No 12-foot slide, every-kid-in-the-neighborhood party can ever measure up to what we have as a family. No party means as much as that special time that we have created just for them. This is the best I have to offer them. This is what they will remember for the rest of their lives. The slide may indeed be remembered as a great time, but it won't be cherished. Cake for breakfast will be.